Sekrit sex

2019.10.21 10:37 blackironathens Sex sekrit

Loud overbearing Greek putz.
But even so is everyone here really going to have an anal prolapse from straight up ugly crying because he told some of dicks top sekrit business to his fans? Oh, read that again. I said “fans”. Being a celeb sucks but you live in LA and have fans you fuckin primadonna, sorry some tawdry details about your sex life got leaked to some retards. Cry into your fistfuls of Patreon money and get back to work.
submitted by blackironathens to TheDickShow [link] [comments]


2017.12.26 13:29 KrispyMUStardCREaM Sekrit sex

Fuck Yeah, this is gonna be fucking big.
Mezzelo likes my nutsack
Zombie-rat is a necrophile
And CptHrki is inactive.
This is the second part of my first story. It will have a larger focus on people and actions. (A good story by assaultrifleman Musdraacthecrem
Featuring a shitton of redditors and some players.
DISCLAIMER : THIS STORY CONTAINS RUDE AND CRUDE LANGUAGE, SEX, MURDER, VIOLENCE AND OTHER SHIT THAT WEAK CUNTS CAN'T STAND. THIS WAS MADE FOR FUN PURPOSES ONLY, AND IS NO INTENDED TO THROW 'SHADE' AT OTHER USERS OR ANY KIND OF ACTION THAT NIGGERS A PERSON'S REPUTATION ON THE INTERNET. MAIN COLLABORATOR OF THIS STORY WAS SLICKSTER000. HE HELPED ME SUCH MUCH WITH SEX SCENES AND OTHER EDGY CRAP. BIG THANKS, I OWE HIM BIG TIME.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY BOVRIL, THE FAMILY LIQUID BEEF
mezz sucks dick
Now onto the reviews :
New York times : An absolute masterpiece.
Slickster000 : Fucking legendary. Has outer space sex.
Sirenburst : Dude what
SilverEyedWitch : Why do I always get raped? sad face (is a man, confirmed, but I’ll pretend it’s a she)
Uprise951 : Musd u fokin wat m9, I fuck da girls here
Dysrr (BxllisticShadow) : yey I’m nazi lieutenant
Halgun : This story sucks. Like my life.
DesignationSpyglass : lol
iiMythicAim : Tough story friends, too bad I’m Irrelevant so I won’t appear
Hyraphax : It’s great
FactionGuerrilla : T H I C C
Pucci with Bovril : yes finally a fucking good story on this shitty shithole we call sub
Musdraacthecrem : My masterpiece. Legendary. Fucking. Epic.
Hepan : Idk, who tf am I
Rani : I’m gay
Bob : Fucks everyone shit in the end
Mizziracer : Usual shitpost from Musdraac
Lolman : dark Brazilian negro makes good story
Solidgold : not inside L
Mezzelo : yes ima delete this crap because I classify it as spam.
Online Dictionary of shitpost : ‘’Muk’’ backwards is ‘’Kum’’
Iken : I’m totally irrelevant but still ok
Frank : I eat ass
iDubbbz : Hey, that’s pretty good
Illuminati : You pay, we like, you live. You don’t pay, we don’t like, you don’t live.
Redtube : Mom wants to fuck
Xvideos : I don’t have HD vids, but use me anyway
F5sse : F15-EAGLE plis
ASMR : Listen to it, please
BROUGHT TO YOU BY BOVRIL, THE FAMILY LIQUID BEEF THE ULTIMATE SHIT STORY YOU WILL EVER READ ON THE SUBREDDIT OF PHANTOM FORCES DISCORD ADVERT : THEY SEE ME ROLLIN’, THEY HATTIN’ (the bot spins, or roll) DIGBICK NIGGA ADVERT : BUY NOW : PENIS-INCREASING SHAMPOO MONDELEZ LUBES ADVERT : THE BEST FOR YOUR ASS BINCO ADVERT : MORE TRASH FOR LESS CASH Ok, time to start this shit
kek, no
See you all in the comment section. Have a good time.
bamboozled for the 2nd time
AND FOR FUCKS SAKE, DON’T BAN THIS MEZZELO ITS JUST FOR FUN
NOT THROWIN’ SHADE OR ANYTHING ALSO NOT SPAM
OK?!?
ALSO DON’T DOWNVOTE
AND READ THE FULL STORY
U LITTLE LAZY SHIT
OK
START
BAMBOOZLED AGAIN, OK LAST TIME
After Overlord's betray on the Developers Protection's team, the Misfit 1-3, a new team was created to hunt down and exterminate this goat fucker.
On South America, South of Brazil, this new team is setting up a camp. Near the fireplace, soldiers are talking.
gunsguns : Lmao Mezz, I swear to god, I did anal with KeepMeIced a few days ago.
Mezzelo : Sure, and my mom is a flying saucer
Sirenburst : You two, shut the fuck up and let me finish my meal with big vegetables
Mezz : Lmao, I heard you beatin' the meat last night
Guns : Yo, Mezz, at least siren has something to beat...
Slickster000 : fokin rekt
Mezzelo starts to cry uncontrollably while walking away from the fire.
Meanwhile, in the general's tent
Musdraacthecrem : Dysrr... My great Lieutenant... How the fuck did hyraphax stop your Nazi spam on the ISiS discord? Fucking lame
Dysrr : Sorry General, I'm weak! Please accept my apologies for being such a weak and stupid creature! PLEASE!
Musd : You better be fucking sorry and...
BROOP-BROOP-BROOP
Musd : Relax your boobs, I'm receiving a call from Hyraphax. Lemme answer it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hyra : Yo, how ya doin musd
Musd : I'm great. What makes you call me in this beautiful peaceful day?
Hyra : It's about your team... The council has adopted a name for it, it is called ''Team R1'' now. And, uuhh... I'll be in the radio tower near your camp with a few cargo helicopters to transport you guys to the Amazonian Forest. We suspect Overlord has been hiding there. We never really knew his true identity, so this is like searching for a nail in Five meters tall snow on a sunny beach day.
Musd : Lmao, I'll tell my team to organize their things. Out.
Hyra : See you tomorrow, nazi.
Musdraacthecrem walks to the fireplace
Musd : Yo, what the fuck? KryoneticCHAOS has been fucking Iken for all day long. They've been in that tent since today's morning man. We can even hear their moans from our cozy cooking place.
Slick : I can go tell him to stop fucking, if that's your wish.
Musd : Yeah, do it. We're going to the radio tower tomorrow. Zach will be waiting for us in shiny new cargo helicopters.
Siren and Guns : Sounds good.
Musd : Because it's. Make sure to pack all your equipment. We're gonna do it by foot. It's only 10 KM away from our camp. Good night to you all.
It's morning. Musdraac and his team are already moving to the radio tower. Only 4 KMs left and Slickster talks to him.
Slick : Yo, commander. What have you been thinking all this time? Can you tell me?
Musd : Yeah, slickster. I'm quite sad because I disappointed Kryonetic being too rude with him...
Slick : What did you say to Kryo?
Musd : He fucked Iken so hard, but so hard she couldn't even walk. So I said she'd have to say on the camp and give pleasure to the noobier soldiers, but of course I asked if he minded that.
Slick : And...?
Musd : He said ''Of course I do! I fucking love she! Big boobs and a big butt... Which man wouldn't like that?''. But of course, I was a fucking rude prick and said ''Well, I don't give a crap. You're going to obey me and let she alone with the newer boys. They also need pleasure from a good bitch.
Slick : LMAO
Musd : chuckle Yeah, it was kinda funny to see his reaction, part horrified, part crying.
They reach the radio towers, big helicopters are waiting for'em.
Hyra : Yo, my bro Musdraac. Glad to see you here this early.
Musd : Same. And your big jew nose didn't change over all these years...
Hyra : Of course! chuckle Well, I need to talk in private with you.
Musd : Ok, let's go to a sekrit place, rite? Just don't try to suck my dick.
Hyra : ... Fuck you.
Both guys move to a private room inside the biggest helicopter on the field
Hyra : Ok. This mission will be fucking special and dangerous. I'll need you to elect 5 Elite Bodyguards for you. Say the names and... Oh, I was almost forgetting, your bro AssaultRifleMan is also here.
Musd : Damn, my Cyka russskyy mate is here! Put him on my list!
Hyra : Done. 4 More.
Musd : Well, let me see... Uuuhh.... Sirenburst
Hyra : Proceed.
Musdraac : Gunsguns and Uprise951.
Hyra : 1 more, you lazy cunt fucker.
Musdraacthecrem : This one will be... Dysrr. He's a good Lieutenant.
Hyraphax : Ok. List is done. Ima call these guys and make sure they stay with you.
Musdraac : Shit, I need a good bath. I'm going to the bathrooms. Cya.
Hyra : Cya, cunt fucker.
2 Hours later, on Siren's tent
Siren thinking : Oh my good Lord... I love this bed so much, it's so cozy and fluffy...
GundamOXZ enters at lighting speed
Gundam : Sire, there is a visitor for you.
Siren : Ok, let him enter.
Gundam : Uuuhh… It’s a her.
Siren : …
GundamOXZ leaves the tent and goes away
OTWhyTiara enters the tent
OTW : Hello, honey…
Siren : Oh shit… It’s you again, what the hell do you want?
OTW : Your love.
Siren : Look, I know that night was nice and shit but… I’m on a top level military now, and I don’t want to get fired because of fucking a girl in a military camp. I’m an honored man. I’ll not do it.
OTW : Stop with that bullshit. I know you want me in your bed, sucking your 1 inch long dick.
Siren : ow
OTW : What happened? Did you become gay?
Siren : No, I don’t want to be at risk of being fired from the Dev Protection team! Leave me fucking alone, bitch!
OTW : Why are you being so rude towards me? Come on… I just want a fun night with you before Hyraphax makes the team move to the objective!
Siren : Last time we had a fun night I was fired from SS for ‘’Soldier Indiscipline’’. My answer is no. Just get out of my tent, I don’t want to force you!
OTW : (Whispers in Sirenburst’s ear) That was the past, and we must look to the present and future… (OTWhyTiara proceeds to put her hand in his military pants, right above the penis)
Siren :No, get fucking away from me! (Picks L85A2 from the ground and points it to OTW)
OTW : NO! STOP! DON’T SHOOT ME!
Siren : THEN GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, GO, BEFORE I PRESS THIS FUCKING TRIGGER! ONE LITTLE SQUEEZE AND YOU’RE DEAD!
OTWhyTiara starts to cry and run away from the tent
Siren : Jesus Christ… That woman is crazy! She must understand that I can’t bang she every time and everywhere…
6:50 AM. Zach’s tent
RING RING, RING RING
(Punches alarm clock)
Zach : Aw shit man, It’s already morning… Gotta wake up Mus and his buddies or we gonna be late for our mission.
Hyra kicks Musd in the back
Zach : Wake up, lazy bitch
Musd : Fuck you, more 5 minutes please
Hyra : We’re in the military, wake the fuck up! Kicks musd again
Musd : Ok ok ok, stop stop STOP
Hyra : Glad you woke up. Now make your friends move their butts from the beds. I’m gonna take a dump, see you 3 hours from here on the Helipad.
Musd : God… Ok, ok, ok…
screams loud and clear
Musd : OK FUCKTARDS, IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP! COME ON! WAKE UP! YOU ALL LOOK LIKE SLUGS
Uprise : Shut up edgy motherfucker, I want to sleep well so I can kill my enemies with pleasure.
Musdraacthecrem approaches uprise, gives him a negative look and kick his testicles
Uprise : AW FUCK MAAAN, AWW AW AWW IT HUURTSS OW SHIT SHIT OH
Silly laughs on the room
Musd : This is for disrespecting your commander, cunt. Get up and get laid go have breakfast. You all, we need to talk. Lets take a breakfast first.
Musdraacthecrem goes to the bathroom and pull out his cock, but like every other man, he has bad accuracy and ends up hitting the wall and the ground.
The full team walks to the kitchen area
Musd : Yooo! What do we have for breakfast today, cook…?
Mysterious cook : Hello commander Musdraacthecrem, it’s a pleasure to meet and serve your team and you. My name is SimonroeOfficial.
Musd : Ok Mr. Simon… But you didn’t answer my question.
Simon : Oh yes, sorry master. Today we have fried eggs with bacon, pancakes with cow milk, baked pork, sausages, salad and chocolate cereal.
Cook walks away back to the kitchen
Siren : Oh great. Now we eat salad for breakfast, fucking genius.
Guns : I’ll clean my balls, they’re dirty. Brb guys.
Squad sits on the nearest table
Uprise : Why are we sitting here?
Musd : Because the cook will bring us our food
Uprise : Oh, sorry didn’t know…
Simon walks in their direction holding plates full of food
Cook : Here is your food, boys
Musd : Thank you.
Siren : Fuck you.
Uprise : Suck my balls.
Simonroe : No, please! Please! I have a woman and a family!
Uprise : Go away, dumbass
Simon cries and run away
Musd : Fuckin’ faggot, we can execute him later.
Siren : Sure thing.
Guns : Ayy guys, I’m back.
Siren : Welcome again, prick
Guns : Hey Siren, how is your brother Fevereddeath?
Siren : What? Oh no…
Guns : Hehehehe, you don’t like him, do you?
Siren : No, I fucking hate him.
Guns : But why?
Siren : He is the shame of my legendary and old family… We, a clan of skilled warriors, have ruled Phantom Forces for eons, till now.
Guns : Proceed.
Siren : Maybe you don’t know but… He is my older brother, only one year older though. He never respected our traditions, nor paid attentions to combat classes. He was pretty lazy, but had some muscles that I desired so bad… Meanwhile, I was a weak stick. This means all the girls of your hood were only interested on him, they didn’t even bother talking to me.
Guns : Mmmm…
Siren : The only girl that ever cared for me was a distant cousin… You know her by the name of OTWhyTiara.
Guns : SHIT! She is your cousin? I swear some guys told me you fucked her in a savage way!
Siren : Uhhh… Well… That is another story, let me finish the story of me and my brother.
Guns : Ok, go on bro.
Siren : It is our tradition that once you complete 16 years old you must defend one of the sacred gates of the dynasty. Because me and my brother were sons of the most famous Phantom Forces bounty hunters and warlords, we have been chosen to defend the Sacred Main Gate of Eternal Punishing alone.
Goes into Sirenburst’s mind
Siren : Shit, bro… Do you think we can handle this in case of any attacks?
Fevered : Of course. We are sons of warlords, why would we fail to defend the Eternal Punishing gate?
Siren : Umm…
Fevered : Are you scared?
Siren : No, I’m just… Just…
Fevered : HAHAHAHA, look at this! My brother is scared! Do you really think stupid farmers with some old guns can outgun us? Pffft….
Siren : Sorry. I’m just a bit nervous, I promise I won’t freak again brother.
Fevered : That’s better. Hey, make a campfire while I’ll take a dump.
Siren : Aw shit… Why always me?
Fevered : Because you’re my servant, that’s why. Or you forgot I’m older than you? HUH?
Siren : Sorry brother, sorry. I didn’t meant to disappoint you… I’m just tired, that’s all, the campfire will be ready when you get back.
Fevered : That’s better.
Next day
Siren : Yummy. This sausage is really good. Thank you brother.
No, he’s not doing oral sex on fevered
Fevered : Hah. No wonder why my barbecues were always a success.
BEEP-BOOP-TITS-TITS-BEEP-BOOP
Siren : Let me check why the communicator is making strange sounds
GENTLEMAN, THIS YOUR COMMANDER. GET YOUR GEAR READY, WE’RE RECEIVING MULTIPLE GATES ATTACKS FROM EVERY POSITION, THEY MIGHT STRIKE ON THE ETERNAL PUNISHING GATE SOON, SO SET UP THE DEFENSES, FAST! I REPEAT, I REPEAT, GET YOUR GEAR READY, WE’RE RECEIVING MULTIPLE GATES ATTACKS FROM EVERY POSITION, THEY MIGHT STRIKE ON THE ETERNAL PUNISHING GATE SOON, SO SET UP THE DEFENSES, FAST!
Fevered : Shit! Prepare the trenches!
Siren : What are you, fucking mad? We’re only two! Trenches would have no fucking use!
Fevered : Then what do you suggest, smart boy?!?
Siren : Let’s find a high place, we can try to sharpshot the invaders from there.
Fevered : Ok, let’s move to the crane! Bring food, water, guns, knives and ammo!
Siren : Roger!
12:05 PM, Crane entrance
Siren : Shit, this is MUCH TALLER than I thought!
Fevered : We will have to climb it, too late to make trenches now.
Siren : Ok, lets start…
1:56 PM
Siren : Hey bro, stop the climbing for a bit. I’m receiving a call from the communicator.
Fevered : Ok.
Siren : I wonder what it is now… We’re almost on top of the crane.
BEEP-BOOP-TITS-TITS-BOOP
Fevereddeath. Sirenburst. This is your overlord. If you two are receiving this message, we’re surely dead by now. The attackers are way more powerful than what we thought, our main defenses have fallen. You two must protect the Eternal Punishment gate AT ALL COSTS, or this great dynasty will know its end today, before midnight. They are going for your position immediately so I suggest setting up a defense point.
One last note, this one hurts the heart of many members of our great dynasty and will probably smash yours too… Well… Your parents died. They were defending the central way to the Eternal Punishment gates, but a guy covered in full black military attire disarmed your mother and backstabbed your father with a Karambit knife painted with a Nazist swastika on it. Shortly after it, your mom was raped in a brutal way by several attackers, a guy named LatinoPidgeon cut her throat shortly after the Jazz concert ended. May the strength be with you two, the last hope of this dynasty.
Fevereddeath : Mom… Mommy is dead?
Sirenburst : Yeah, it’s what you heard. We’re the last hope.
Fevereddeath : I… I don’t want to fight!!! Please, let’s run away! Our lives are more important than this stupid gate!
Sirenburst : Do what you want faggot, but I will sit on that crane and kill every motherfucker I see.
Fevereddeath : Do it, and you’ll be killed! We need to run away bro!
Sirenburst : I’m old enough to take care of myself, dipshit. Go away, faggot!
Fevereddeath : But brother… What will I be without you?!?
Sirenburst : Use what you learned in classes.
Fevereddeath : Cla.. Cl.. Classes? B-but… I thought they were useless!
Sirenburst : YOU. Thought. I didn’t.
Fevereddeath : This is a revenge for being always the excluded one, right? You stupid prick… I should’ve NEVER trusted you!
Sirenburst : Get the fuck out
Fevereddeath : NO, I’m bringing you with me!
Sirenburst takes out his pistol and aims at his brother
Siren : What did you say? The guns are with me, you only have a knife and you’re 5 meters under me. Don’t come up or I shot you.
Fevered : You wouldn’t do it! You’re a coward!
Siren : Oh really? I thought you were the one that wanted to flee away.
Fevered : Grrr… You will fucking die! Mark my words! I’m not taking part on this madness. Bye, cock sucker!
Sirenburst cries quietly and start climbing again.
2:25 PM
Siren : God… I finally reached the top of it! Shit… It-it’s beautiful
cries of happiness
Siren : Argh, Siren! Stop crying, you’re the last hope of the Dynasty! Set up your defenses and… Oh my… It’s so beautiful! I’ll go to the right-end of the arm to see better…
Walks 100 meters away
Meanwhile, black dots are flying in the direction of the crane, opposite side of where Siren is looking.
5 minutes later
Siren : This is so damn beautiful… Welp, I need to set up my sniper. They might come anytime and…
OH SHIT Siren : WHO THE FUCK IS YOU, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT THE HECK??
Stranger : Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Siren : WHO THE FUCK IS YOU? ANSWER ME BEFORE I GET MY PISTOL AND FILL YOUR BODY WITH LEAD!
Stranger : With a pistol that is 200 meters away from you? I don’t think so. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Siren : put hands in the pistol holster. Nothing there Shit…
Stranger : Don’t you recognize me, boy?
Siren : No, who in the fucking seven hells are you? Why are you wearing a full black military attire?
Stranger : Do you recognize this? Pulls out Karambit painted with Swastika
Siren : My fucking god… It CAN’T be you!
Stranger : But it’s me. See? I broke your reality. Welcome to the world.
Siren : You killed my parents…
Stranger : Yes, I did. I must confess that it was a tough fight, your father was a good person but he needed to die for the Revolución.
Siren : You stupid cunt…
Stranger : Ahh… Don’t take it to the bad side… You can give up on your task to defend the last Eternal Gate and join us. Or you die.
Siren : Not if I kill you first.
Stranger : You don’t have a pistol.
Siren : I have a knife. You have a knife.
Stranger : Why do you even bother trying?
Siren : Because I know that I always win, no matter the situation!
Siren launches from the ground pointing his dangerous Bowie Knife to the stranger.
Stranger : Dodges attack Shit, this will be a good batt-
Siren : HYYARGHH! Launches another row of deadly attacks
The stranger fails to dodge the last one, Siren made a cut on his arm
Stranger : Enough playtime, you’ll pay! Pulls out Swastika-Customized Karambit
Stranger : FUCK. YOU.
At lighting fast speed the strangers makes a big cut in Siren’s chest
Siren : OH, FUCK NO FUCK FUCK FUCK… F-FUCK
Stranger : This is what you get for messing with me boy. Kicks Siren
Siren falls on the ground
Siren : Please.. Piety!
Stranger : I gave you a chance, now, you will…
Siren quickly jumps and disarm himself and the stranger with his knife
Siren : HYYARGHH, TAKE THIS PUNCH!!!
A super strong punch hits the strange in the chin. He falls on the ground
Siren : Come here, bastard!
They both fight on the ground for approximate 3 minutes, when Siren rolls away and kicks the stranger in the head.
Stranger : My-my… My head is spinning.. oh fuckin god…
Siren kicks the stranger again, this time in the back
Siren : Do you like this, motherfucker? OOHHH, WHAT IS THIS SHINY THING ON YOUR POCKET?
Siren : Pulls out a Desert Eagle .50 Action Express Hahahahaha, nice pistol…
Stranger : P-please… No… It was a gift from my dad
Siren : You killed my dad. Forgot that?

Siren : Now, it’s time to have a revenge. A few questions before though.
Stranger : What do you want to know?
Siren : Who are you?
Stranger : Long inspire I’m the most skilled Ace Pilot of ISiS.
Siren : What the fuck man… What is your name?
Stranger : Heh. My name is Musdraacthecrem.
Siren : Now that’s a long name…
Musdraacthecrem : De facto.
Siren : So, what are you and your agency doing here?
Musd : We’re here to put an end to this dynasty, your time to rule has ended.
Siren : Then why you are the one almost dying?
Musd : Don’t be a fool… I’m just one, there are thousands down there. They will fuck you up in no time.
Siren : Ohh… You’re threatening me? That doesn’t sound intelligent to do in your current position, Pilot Musdraacthecrem.
Musdraacthecrem : Kid, I’ve escaped from even more deadly meetings than this one. Do you really think you will put an end to my life?
Siren : Shut the fuck up, cock sucking bastard.
Musdraacthecrem : Why should I? What you gonna do? Cry? Did I hurt your feelings?
Siren : Actually, don’t shut up right now. It’s time for you to quit this world, to quit your life. Say your last words then you will stop talking forever.
Musdraacthecrem : Long evil laugh
Siren : C’mon, say your last words prior to quitting your life!
Musdraacthecrem : I’m too legit to quit.
CLANG Siren is unconscious on the ground, and Lenthel is laughing like a psychopath after making another victim with his frying pan. On the crane entrance LatinoPidgeon is guarding it with a 2 Mac-10’s, one on each hand.
Musd : You are late.
Lenthel : Ungrateful little shit, if it weren’t us you would be dead now.
Musd : Ok, thanks man. I just need some bandages and a bit of morphine… This knife cut hurts a lot.
Lenthel : You will have that and more once we reach the ground. Oh, and we also got a defender on the start of the crane ladder. Turns out his name is Fevereddeath. The one you were talking to is Sirenburst, his newer brother.
Musd : Newer? Oh man… Then Fevered is a killing machine, right?
Lenthel : I don’t think so. He was scared as fuck when we appeared. We kicked him in the head a few times, enough to sleep for around 3 hours.
Musd : Well… What’s the situation at the gate?
Lenthel : We destroyed it. The Legendary Dynasty has ended.
Musd : big smile We are da boys.
Lenthel : Yes, sure, but… What do we do with Sirenburst?
Musd : Carry Siren with you, I have plans for him.
Lenthel : Whatever, boss.
LatinoPidgeon, Musdraacthecrem and Lenthel (carrying Sirenburst) jump from the crane using their special wingsuits.
Latino : It’s a long fall. Be patient guys.
Musd : Easy for you to say…
Lenthel : hmnpf
They approach the ground and land successfully on ISiS military camp
Musd : Finally. cough Where’s the medic tent?
LatinoPidgeon : Right on the corner, a few meters away from here.
Lenthel : Take care, musd.
Musd : Sure thing, boys.
Lenthel : What do I do with Sirenburst?
Musd : Bring him with me, he also has some cuts.
Lenthel : Roger.
Both soldiers walk away in a straight line, looking to the horizon
OUT OF SIRENBURST’S MIND, BACK TO THE BREAKFAST
Siren : And this is why I hate fevereddeath. He is just a fucking coward.
Guns : What happened to him?
Siren : Turns out he woke up and escaped ISiS.
Guns : Ah…
Musdraacthecrem : That really happened boys.
Uprise : Must have been pretty intense, right?
Musdraacthecrem : Yeah. Take a look at this…
Musdraacthecrem pulls out a Desert Eagle .50 AE
Guns : OH SHIT! It’s the one from the crane?!?
Siren : Hell yeah.
Musdraacthecrem : Yes, it is.
Dysrr : But Musd, did you really kill Siren’s father?
Musd : Oh no. I didn’t.
Dysrr : Then what happened?
Musd : We actually captured them and used their special communicators to create a fake message which was sent to Sirenburst.
Uprise : What happened to them?
Siren : Musdraacthecrem decided it would be a waste to kill two warlords and their son, so he made us join ISiS. Not gonna lie, I’m better now.
Guns : You almost killed Musd because of a lie made to destabilize you and Fevered?
Siren : Pretty much.
Uprise : Shit, eh. Where are your parents right now?
Musd : His parents are in a Secret Island ISiS owns. They are developing special gizmos for us.
Siren : Yep, sometimes they also visit me in the battlefield or something like that.
Guns : Cool… I wish my parents were alive…
Musd : What happened to them, gunsguns?
Guns : A truck crashed and ended up smashing the car they were inside…
Siren : That’s pretty sad bro…
Guns : Yeah, but you had a harder time.
Siren : But it was fake!
Guns : You didn’t know that..
Siren : Bro…
Guns : Don’t worry, I’m ok… Let’s just stop talking about this.
Musd : Sure thing
Uprise : Yeah
Dysrr : Ok mate
Siren : Roger.
No one talks for a minute, they finish eating their breakfast
Uprise : Heeeey boys… Look who just entered the kitchen area.
Guns : Oh shit man!
Musd : Damn son
A squad of female soldiers pass thru the entrance, leaded by OTWhyTiara. They sit on a table not too far from Commander Musdraacthecrem and his squad. The cook comes and distributes food for them.
Guns : Ay Siren, ain’t dat chick your cousin?
Siren : Yes…
Guns : Why don’t you just go there and ask her to fuck?
Siren : What the hell man? Are you crazy, stupid or both?
Guns : I mean… She already knows you well, right?
Siren : Yeah, but…
Uprise : No Ifs, Ands or Buts.
Siren : Fuck you two. I need to go take a dump, I’ll be right back.
Musd : Do a speedy pooping, we only have 2 hours left.
submitted by KrispyMUStardCREaM to PhantomForces [link] [comments]


2016.04.01 14:01 KasuganoTsubaki Sekrit sex

As we all know this current format is cancer, since konami isnt releasing a banlist i took it upon my self to rid the game of this cancer by uniting the forces of the 4 most meta relevant decks (fuck qli theyre more xenophobic than BA) of last format. I bring you Nekroz of El SatellarDolls of the Burning Abyss
The Nekroz
3x Manju of the ten thousand Hands - Searches out the entire Nekroz half of the deck as well as our hot, spicy, super secret BA tech that I may or may not reveal to you in this list
3x Senju of the thousand Hands - Manju but with thousands of less hands, really shit card tbh considered dropping but he searches out our EPIC tech
1x Nekroz of Brionac - INSANE card now i know why brio is banned!! Make him by sending a cir + fara to get back your dante banish a card and spin 2 cards??? absolutely ridiculous.
1x Nekroz of Unicore - Pretty good card, mostly used to add back brio or trish to make some sick plays or with scope to search out our amazing tech. But there is 1 super secret hidden play discovered by me which you can do with unicore. Pitch to add brio back to hand, brio search claus, claus search cycle, use cycle tribute squamata to send beast to draw a card. All that deck thinnnig and a draw? its like shurit was never banned!. Additionally you can send deneb if you dont have squamata and then normal vega, special altair, special deneb, search. the pluses are insane!!!!!!!!1
2x Nekroz of Trishula - summon this by sending 3 bas (and make insane pluses obviously) and then banish 3 cards. after that shaddoll fusion it to make the shaddoll trishula and tell your opponent that its effect banishes 3 cards too because no one reads cards. Hoban pro tip: play a foreign version of the card so its easier to convince your opponent.
1x Nekroz of Gungir - because this deck runs 4s and 3s so you get to make her sometimes
2x Nekroz of Valkyrus - because you cant get a 3rd since some faggot cocksucking scalper bought out all the valks hoping shurit will get unbanned (spoilers its not my dad is a janitor at konami HQ and he told me)
3x Nekroz of Clausolas - you only really make this to cir back your dante to make beatrice and then have a board of claus + beatrice or if youre an MLG pro like me - Claus, Beatrice, Diamond and winda
2x Nekroz Cycle - do i really need to explain every card? its how you get your nekroz cards out you doofus
2x Nekroz Mirror - read above
2x Nekroz Kaleidoscope - read 2 above
The Tellars
2x Satellarknight Vega - THAT
3x Satellarknight Altair - AINT
3x Satellarknight Deneb - FALCO
2x Satellarnova Alpha - because strikes came out in bosh
The Shaddolls
1x Mathematician - best shaddoll card, also secretly a supporter of the Burning Abyss.
1x Shaddoll Falco - this is falco, remember that all shaddolls can be sent with beatrice to make some SICK pluses
1x Shaddoll Hedgehog - searches your shaddoll fusions, level 3 for claus/brio/trish plays
2x Shaddoll squamata - deck thinning enough attack to make even the mightiest battle ox tremble in his boots
2x Shaddoll Dragon - pop monkeytrouble with beatrice
3x Shaddoll Beast - mitigates the loss for having to use spells to summon half the monsters in your deck, can make trish with any level 4, can also be used to tribute one of your thingies to turn off domain. (protip: side in stormforths and tribute monarch monsters for extra salt)
3x Shaddoll Fusion - probably the best card in the deck aside from our super sekrit tech.
1x Fusión El Sombrañeca - I have no idea what this card does since my copy isnt in english but it's at 1 on the ban list and i see a picture of winda str8 pwning leo, despite having lower ATK, on it so it has to be good right?
The Burning Abyss
1x Tour guide of the Burning Abyss - because thats what she should be called.
1x Graff, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - He's basically tour guides husband after sangan got sent to the pound so we have to play him.
1x Cagna, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - one of the 4 elemental fiends, used to stop Cecil and his party.
1x Barbar, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - one of the 4 elemental fiends, got a sex change apparently.
1x Rubic, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - one of the 4 elemental fiends, amazing how the strongest fiend is the weakest BA
1x Alich, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - amazing how beatrice turned a shitty card good.
2x Cir, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - There's definitely some bromance going on between cir and dante considering they always bring each other back.
2x Farfa, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - used to banish shit, remember to "forget" to tell your opponent they come back during the end phase wink wink
3x Scarm, Malebranch of the Burning Abyss - one of the 4 elemental fiends, also tour guides boy toy, dont tell graff tho.
1x Malacoda, Netherlord of the Burning abyss - here it is, our hot spicy, juicy, steaming, EPIC, secret tech. Why you ask? because its search able with the ritual support from the nerkoz engine. talk about synergy!!!!!!
2x Good & Evil in the Burning Abyss - Summon our secret tech then search next turn? whats not to love.
Extra Deck
3x Dante, Traveler of the Burning Abyss - used to mill your brios and claus for mirror trish plays
2x Beatrice, the Eternal Lady - Dante's waifu, also probably the only good card in the entire main and extra deck
1x Virgil, Rockstar of the Burning Abyss - played so i dont feel bad for running rubic, why in the fuck does he have a guitar and why in the fuck is he a rockstar anyway, it doesnt even fit the theme of BA
1x Dante, pilgrim of the Burning Abyss - im running out of shit to say
2x Stellarknight Triverr - probably the most rage enducing card of Duea format
1x Stellarknight Constellar Diamond - this guys name is a mouthful, make it vs that epin pk fire xDDD meme deck
2x El Shaddoll Winda - Sadly the best shaddoll fusion monster we have,
2x El Shaddoll Anoyatillis - When this card is Fusion Summoned, you can: Banish exactly 3 of your opponent's cards, 1 each from their hand, field, and Graveyard. (The card in the hand is chosen at random.)
1x Herald of the Arc light - summon unicore and search
1x Blue-Eyes ultimate dragon - idk he looks cool
submitted by KasuganoTsubaki to yugioh [link] [comments]